May-06-2017, 08:57 PM
Story #2:
So I had been sucked in to a pseudo-startup with some truly incomptent management. The head of development was a lardy guy that we had nicknamed "The Blob", and, to give you an idea of his deep technical knowledge, he didn't know the difference between Java and Javascript. Since the original gang of developers (me and a few others) didn't take any of his bullsh*t they started hiring young and impressionable ones (the kind you can fire before 3 months if you don't like them). And one of them was a freshly graduated girl with whom I shared an office.
So the Blob took the habit to come "discuss ideas" (i.e. talk complete nonsense) with my colleague (but sometimes pushing her to tears by asking her impossible work), and when he did so he usually put his butt on my desk, that would flex under the weight and working with a display which isn't upright is more painful than it seems. I had to stop this (both the pestering of the colleague and the display tilt). Some time later I visit my local florist (which I knew well due to being both a regular customer and have kids in the same class as hers) and found that she was selling small cactuses, so I started testing their spikiness to find the one most suited for my goals (technically, stout spikes, but that would break loose; and remain in the target). Intrigued, she asked what I was doing so I told her my whole plan, that made me get out of the shop with a free cactus and the promise to tell the result.
The next morning I put the cactus at the strategical place and start working. Enters The Blob who unfortunately notices the thing and remains standing up. Over the next few days he is still careful but since I have also started calling him out on his nonsense he tries to come when I am not around.
So, a few days later, I leave my desk for a coffee with the IT guy, and when I reach the end of the hall I see The Blob dashing out of his office and entering ours. When I come back 5 minutes later, my colleague is alone and her eyes are filled with tears... of laughter, because when I look around I see a flattened cactus on the floor.
Instant hero status. Plus the colleague amused us for months with her impression of The Blob sitting on the cactus. Brought the cactus back to the florist. She was impressed :)
So I had been sucked in to a pseudo-startup with some truly incomptent management. The head of development was a lardy guy that we had nicknamed "The Blob", and, to give you an idea of his deep technical knowledge, he didn't know the difference between Java and Javascript. Since the original gang of developers (me and a few others) didn't take any of his bullsh*t they started hiring young and impressionable ones (the kind you can fire before 3 months if you don't like them). And one of them was a freshly graduated girl with whom I shared an office.
So the Blob took the habit to come "discuss ideas" (i.e. talk complete nonsense) with my colleague (but sometimes pushing her to tears by asking her impossible work), and when he did so he usually put his butt on my desk, that would flex under the weight and working with a display which isn't upright is more painful than it seems. I had to stop this (both the pestering of the colleague and the display tilt). Some time later I visit my local florist (which I knew well due to being both a regular customer and have kids in the same class as hers) and found that she was selling small cactuses, so I started testing their spikiness to find the one most suited for my goals (technically, stout spikes, but that would break loose; and remain in the target). Intrigued, she asked what I was doing so I told her my whole plan, that made me get out of the shop with a free cactus and the promise to tell the result.
The next morning I put the cactus at the strategical place and start working. Enters The Blob who unfortunately notices the thing and remains standing up. Over the next few days he is still careful but since I have also started calling him out on his nonsense he tries to come when I am not around.
So, a few days later, I leave my desk for a coffee with the IT guy, and when I reach the end of the hall I see The Blob dashing out of his office and entering ours. When I come back 5 minutes later, my colleague is alone and her eyes are filled with tears... of laughter, because when I look around I see a flattened cactus on the floor.
Instant hero status. Plus the colleague amused us for months with her impression of The Blob sitting on the cactus. Brought the cactus back to the florist. She was impressed :)
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